In an attempt to unlearn love the way I have been taught to love since I was a little girl, in order to avoid any future heartbreaks (mine or others), I have decided to redefine parenting and most importantly: family
So, I’ve recently been asked (yet again) when (not even if) i want to get married, have kids and a family, and - in lack of a better response - I go for a standard ‘hm, yeah, someday’. I took some time today (while I was having a shower, the usual) to formulate a better response. In hope of making this inevitable (and sometimes hurtful) conversation more exciting. Or upsetting. For the right people.
Here we go:
Heteronormative Random: Kaddie, don’t you wanna get married someday, have kids and a family?
Kaddie: Yeah! Someday. And SOMEWAY. You know, Heteronormative Random, I can’t wait to get married. I'm not sure if it’ll be my best friend at 35 or a long lost love at 40 waiting for me at the altar. Or my lover at 60. Either way we will be celebrating LOVE instead of the holy fucking outdated matrimony. And I will swear to stay together not ‘till death do us part’ but ‘even if we grow apart’. Physically or emotionally. And once we said 'I do' (to all adventures), I’ll wave at the two dads of my baby. And they are crazy in love with each other. Because I love them and the three of us are co-parenting the shit out of that beautiful baby creature. And then we’ll all dance and shimmy and do the funky chicken, all together, all the people i love. Present, Past and Future.
Heteronormative Random: -
That's my response from now on. And now I feel my heart exploding at the thought of all the possibilities of love and the kind of colourful family I could grow old with. So again: How could anybody be so attached to a heteronormative world? I’ll wait for the day when my newly formulated response will no longer upset that heteronormative random. Someday, someway.